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I find it difficult to swallow that people actually enjoy watching the Oscars.

What's to enjoy? First of all, I have issues with Hollywood. Well over 90% of the movies it produces are time-wasting crap. And I use the term "movies" for a reason, rather than films. There is little artistry involved in what these Hollywood movies have to offer. Oh yeah, you can throw an award at cinematographers because the picture didn't look like a pile a grainy dogshit or at the effects people because the effects almost looked real but for the fact you could totally tell they weren't real (and don't even get me started on why CGI should be banned from all moviemaking). Hollywood isn't in the film business, it's in the movie business, because there are plenty of lazy, out of shape individuals in this country who have more than enough time on their hands (some might say "too much") to sit on their big asses and melt their own brains for two hours with the dreck Hollywood puts out like some antiquated assembly line. What's the point of having hobbies or being active and healthy when you can rot your head collecting DVD after DVD of pointless, worthless "entertainment."

Hey, these big shot Producers in Hollywood have billions of dollars on their hands. Sure, they could be using that money to help solve the world's problems, but what's the point of that when they could be taking advantage of the latest bland sequel or an overused/stolen idea. Might as well sink a few million into something that ultimately does absolutely no good for society, at all, whatsoever.

So we gather together in front of the TV once a year to watch them postulate their wares, slapping each other on the back and giving each other grand handjobs. I've seen Bukkake videos that supply more entertainment than this shit. The speeches are terrible and usually involve a long list of names that no one recognizes (except maybe the average Hollywood "insider"). The show is incredibly long and none of the awards anyone actually gives a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut about are presented until about the last hour or so. Every big-name Actor, Director and Producer comes off as a smarmy, self-congratulatory sonofabitch, and I would pay good money to have them all lined up and shot, if for no other reason than to retaliate against their complete and total ignorance of what the real world is all about. Fuck these people, they are worthless to the rest of us as a species and have stunted our development with their pedantic offerings.

I rarely, if ever, watch awards shows of any kind because, well, the same could be said for all of them. But the Oscars really take the cake. I actually tuned in periodically as I was channel surfing that night and could not find a single good reason or even the most remote justification for any network to allow this big, steaming shitpile on the air. It has to be one of the most pompous, disgusting things ever foisted upon the people. The fact that it posts any degree of viewership frightens me.

The best part of the whole ordeal was how Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails used the night as part of the intensely brilliant marketing strategy for his incredible upcoming album, Year Zero (which, ironically, he's described as "the soundtrack to a movie that doesn't exist"). If you haven't been following how the lead-up to the album's release has been masterfully played, you really, really, really need to get yourself up to speed, because it's one of the most ingenious marketing moves of the past century, all hyperbole intact. As Rolling Stone observed;

The song (In This Twilight) hints at surviving an act of terror, a perfect segue to the next website unveiled this weekend: Hollywoodinmemoriam.org Trent Reznor himself reportedly hinted at this page’s existence an hour before it appeared. It’s rumored that Reznor showed up in an NIN chat room Sunday night and said “someone should blow up the oscars” before abruptly signing off. An hour later, the page appeared. The site alludes to a dirty bomb detonated at the 81st Annual Academy Awards and features a bulletin board where families have posted news and information about loved ones who suffered in the attack.

In one key post, an Oscar ballot counter writes that, had the 81st Academy Awards not been bombed, the film Silence would have won Best Picture. What is Silence? It’s newly-awarded Oscar winner Martin Scorsese’s next planned film and is due for a 2008 release, making it an almost guaranteed nominee for the 2009 Oscars (Has a Scorsese film ever gone un-nominated?) We’re glad you won, Marty, but we’d recommend making other plans for Oscars 2009.

Fuck the Oscars. It shouldn't just be bombed, it is a bomb. A ticking timebomb going off in the heart of a society that embraces false celebrity, shallow entertainment and the loss of all worthwhile thought and creativity.