I've Upped My Standards.

(sell your soul)

Subject:	E. Just because. I'm shitfaced.
Time:	12:26 am.

Dropkick Murphys - "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced"
I play in a band, we're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
'Cause I'm more than a handful, you'll see

So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I can bench press a car, I'm an ex football star
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail
I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best duck flambe
I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid

So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight
See my figure was chiseled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call, I'm never alone
I've a house on the hill with a red water bed
That puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the game

So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shitting?

I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright
I'm definitely not chiseled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone

But just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside
I swear I got a big heart of gold
I'm a monogamous man, no more one night stands
Come on, honey, let me take you home

So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

(Read 32 orsell your soul)

Subject:	Exegesis
Time:	6:36 pm.
Music:	Bauhaus Too Much 21st Century.

I've never been a big fan of militants.

We all know militants. You may have a friend that, while they aren't necessarily marching in lock step with an entire militant philosophy or manifesto, get out of hand when certain subjects come up. They become argumentative to the point where, it doesn't matter how you explain your position, no matter what you say all that matters is that their militant diatribe is heard. And you will pay dearly for your opinions in one way or another. Maybe the two of you were friends before, but now that this person knows how you feel about this one thing forget it. You can no longer be friends. You think to yourself, "Wow, I never realized this person was that shallow," and wonder if there's a chance the friendship, or at least the acquaintanceship, can be spared, but to no avail. The militant has made up his/her mind. He/she will have nothing to do with you anymore because you feel a certain way about this one thing.

Of course, the militant considers him/herself enlightened on this subject. They will not even consider the thoughts or feelings of another regarding it. They are smarter than you when it comes to these matters. You are fucking stupid. Never mind the fact that militancy typically translates into infantile behavior and the stupidity, disguised as superiority, of a militant becomes clear rather quickly. When one cannot consider the positions of another at all, one is not a particularly intelligent individual. When your ideology becomes such that the thoughts and methods of others no longer matters and all you can see is what is all that can be beheld with the blinders you have put on yourself, you can't exactly be considered an intellectual of any kind.

Oh sure, there are the old, tired arguments that can be dismissed rather quickly. But when you dismiss someone without properly confronting them and giving them the benefit of the doubt, you are nothing less than a shallow individual. And most militants fall into this category quite readily. Also, militants have no sense of humor. And without a sense of humor there is no objectivity. Hence, the militant becomes fodder for the cruelest jokes and is quite easily dismissed.

At one time there was a meme going around about abortion. It was a pro-choice meme. Anyone who knows me understands I am not a supporter of the anti-abortion stance. I made an off-color joke that ridiculed the self-serving and ineffectual nature of the meme. As a result I was de-friended by a few people. And they haven't spoken to me since. My stance in favor of abortion didn't matter. The fact that I poked at the holes in their self-aggrandizing behavior "offended" them so much that they could no longer associate themselves with me. Even though I was on their side. That's pretty shallow.

I don't expect everyone to understand my sense of humor. I suppose I could just be safe and make jokes that give people the kind of chuckles that lighten their worries if for only an instant. But I guess I've always been a fan of those comedians that made the chuckles feel uncomfortable, and cause you to confront the ugliness inside of you. It's one thing to make someone laugh. It's another to cause them to rethink their outlook on certain things or at least confront how they feel about certain people or situations.

Then there are the people that "hate people." Hey, I'm not a big fan myself. Hell, if you're someone who "hates people," I probably hate you too. After all, you're going nowhere in life. How can you? Without other people you're not going to make it very far. And your hatred of people is reliant on a surface examination of who they are. You generalize. As a result, you fail.

It's kind of like these movies that put a personality behind an issue. What was that old AIDS movie? The one with Tom Hanks? Philadelphia? Mainstream America hated fags. But Tom Hanks starred as a fag in a movie. The fag had AIDS. Bruce Springsteen sang a deep song about the fag with AIDS. Suddenly, more people weren't so quick to judge fags. Oh sure, it was a dumb movie and didn't persuade the entire country to stop hating fags, but the point is that it put an individual personality behind a viewpoint. Just like all these stupid primetime "news"magazines. Their goal is to take something you militantly oppose and put a personality behind it so you will rethink your opposition. And yeah, a lot of it is exploitation, but the point is that there are those of us that recognize your knee-jerk militancy for what it is; stupidity. Small-mindedness. And while you trumpet how stupid everyone else is you don't even realize how fucking stupid you look yourself.

I don't consider myself a particularly bright individual, to be honest. I make a shitload of mistakes and my wife will back me up on this one. But I trust in people. I even give them second and even third chances at times. I've gotten farther in my life as a result of that than I would have otherwise. My relationships with people, even acquaintances, isn't conditional. Just because you're a a Conservative Republican, anti-abortion, homophobic, far-right Christian doesn't mean I'm going to belittle you in public and make an ass of myself doing so. I want to get to know you, and understand why you think the way you do before I call you out for the nazi piece of shit that you are.

Yeah. A joke. Sorry.

And I'm sorry if I occasionally tease your fragile sensibilities. My friends list certainly isn't constant. I'm always gaining and losing friends. Some people think I'd be really, really popular if I just kept my mouth shut and played it safe. But fuck that. Even if I lose you as a "friend," there's a chance I've made it possible for you to confront something major in your life. Perhaps not. I'm just another clumsy, awkward asshole walking through life and pissing people off. I'm at least confident enough in myself to realize that my self-worth is not at all reliant on other people. That being said, I enjoy the friends I've made. And even if I don't get to see them as often as I'd like the moments we've spent together have had an impact on me that I'm not going to forget. Even if you were to all ultimately write me off for good I would carry on a stronger person for having known you.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to figure out a way to piss some more people off.